“So how did it go with Lumi?”
“You fucking asshole.”
“You are the fucking asshole man, that girl is amazing. Did you see how she changed her entire appearance just for you? How the hell can you get someone better than that.”
“I don’t want a girl that changes her appearance for me. I just want her to be herself.”
“Dude she’s seventeen, she doesn’t know what herself is yet.”
“WHAT?! She’s seventeen!? I’m twenty-one! There will be mobs, pitchforks even! WHY ARE HER PARENTS LETTING HER GO TO GARAGE PUNK SHOWS?!”
“Oh give me a break, no ones going to bust down your door because of a four year difference.”
“I think it’s statutory rape actually thank you very much.”
“Not in Tennessee dude, besides you haven’t even so much as kissed her yet…” I looked around the room and sighed, “…wait, you have kissed her?”
“Yeah, you couldn’t possibly understand. She was crying and I lifted her chin gently with my finger tips,wiped away her tears with my thumb, she was so amazing, i’ve never been kissed with so much passion.”
“Oh lord. Dude you really are an asshole.”
“I know. fuck, everyone’s going to know i’m an asshole now.”
The next day i had coffee with one of my ex’s that i somehow managed to stay friends with. It’s a cute indie coffee place with open mic nights and couches that they acquired from goodwill or maybe garage sells, a couple of mosaic tables and mismatched chairs. We sat at one of these. She looks fantastic.
“You fucking asshole.”
“It’s not like that Caitlin.”
“How is it not? You clearly aren’t into this girl but she starts crying and you kiss her. You are leading her on, and that, my friend, makes you an asshole.”
“It’s not completely leading her on. I would love to kiss her again. Maybe if i just make it clear i only like her for her expert mouth… yeah, that’s not gonna go down well.”
“Look, asshole, girls are not here to audition for your ridiculous fucking standards. We are not created for your every whim and sick fucking philosophy. We are not here to fulfill your crazed notion that you are doomed to be dumped again and again.”
“Well, you dumped me.”
“The hell i did!”
“I might have broken it off but you drove me to it. You wanted it.”
“What are you five years old? It’s been a year, get over it. Besides, I couldn’t sit around watching movies all day and going to shows and by the end of the week having nothing to eat but maybe some pasta. I wanted to live comfortably. I grew up in the suburbs okay, i’m not like you inner city kids! Bunch of self-righteous pseudo-intellectual snobs the lot of you.”
“I’m an artist, you knew that when you met me.”
“Artist? Where is your art? Tell me that? When is the last time you played a show? When is the last time you did anything artistic at all?”
“I’m just in a down spiral. It will pick back up.”
“Baby, you are very talented. I’ve seen genius in your writing, but if you don’t stop wallowing in your own self-pity you will never be happy.”
“Jesus, you are preachy today.”
I walked home from the coffee shop and enjoyed the clear skies. Memphis is my town, i grew up here and it was here that I was born. Downtown is overrated. Alot of crime and tourism and expensive drinks for generally sub-par blues coming from white baskers. Midtown on the other hand is something else entirely, too many vegans, lots of blazers in the summertime, but they are my kind of people… Caitlin has really got my number. It’s depressing. We dated for months and she ended up moving in with me. She couldn’t afford rent anymore and went back to living with her mother in jackson. She said that she loved me and we would be together forever and as soon as she had enough money saved up she would come back and live with me, find a new job and sort everything out. She never came back. She started going out places with her ex boyfriends. I couldn’t handle the idea that she might not be faithful so I broke it off. Of course, she lied alot about where she was going, went to see other people instead of visiting me, stating that she didn’t have enough money for gas. It was true, but also true because she was driving to see other guys. I almost died. I was physically sick for almost a month. Tried to kill myself and failed so i gave up.
Now Lumi, there is a prospect. McCalister girl won’t ever call me back. I am stuck with Lumi. That’s not so bad.
8 months ago